by Megan Jones

What’s up winos,

Happy Halloween, or whatever. If I see one more Barbie and Ken couples costume on Instagram, I’m gonna scream. If that was you over the weekend, or indeed tonight, shame. SHAME!

Can you tell I’m not really a holiday person? As in religious slash corporation sponsored holidays – general holidays, of the lying on the beach and drinking wine kind, I’m all about. But ‘tis the season, or ‘tis almost the season, as every shopfront and brand whose emails I don’t remember subscribing to insist on reminding me. Christmas, she is a-coming, and call me a Grinch, but the only thing I like about Christmas is that it’s a big fat excuse to drink sparkles. So, time to stock up, winos.

I’m a fan of chronology, or just order in general (if you looked at the warehouse at any given time of day, with its boxes and scrap paper and stray bottles of wine lying all over the floor, you might beg to differ), so let’s start off at the wallet-friendly end of fizz, shall we? After a short break (felt like a long one), everyone’s favourite natural Prosecco is back in stock – the legend that is Lemoss, aka the fizz that’s interesting enough for you natty-nuts while being classic enough to pour for your nan on Boxing Day. Even the label is restrained. Trust us, everyone loves this one – and don’t you want to be the one everyone loves? Pick up a bottle or six to distribute at every seasonal gathering you get invited to for the next two months.

Although the holidays are a time to indulge (and I plan to, don’t worry), there’s something to be said about a little low ABV fizzer, just to shake things up. Don’t shake this up though, it’ll explode all over you. Heh. Soif is a juicy combination of Auxerrois co-fermented with apples, the latter of which drags the alcohol level down to a restrained 9%. So this is basically guilt-free. Tastes great too, in a cider-y kind of way. If fruity sounds good to you, then Quarticello are your bag – we’ve got their citrus-y, zesty Malvasia and their beautifully aromatic Lambrusco Salamino. Is that different to Lambrusco? Probably, but who has time to google? Not I!

Sliding up the pricing scale a little bit, you can’t get much better value Champagne than Michel Gonet’s 3 Terroirs. Well, you can, but I mean without looking behind the counter at the corner shop. I’m big on Blanc de Blancs (coz Chardonnay, pay attention!) and Gonet’s hit it out of the park with this one. Banging acid, banging flavour, just banging. You could do worse in terms of gift giving this year. You could even get me one, if you want. I’m at dan’s (2-4 Tottenham Road N1 4BZ xx) 24/7. Please and thank you. If you’re after something a bit more intéressant, why not grab one of Tissot’s Crémant du Jura? Besides the classic Pinot and Chardonnay, they’ve also chucked in some Poulsard and Trousseau. Guess they just had it lying around? Whatever, works for me – this is equal parts creamy and bone dry. Equal parts delicious and delicious. Pretty limited too, so get one for your wine snob friend (or for yourself, if you are the aforementioned wine snob) and watch them be impressed. Look at you, with your fancy limited wine hook-up! Aren’t you cool!

Heading into serious territory now. 7 Crus from Agrapart does what it says on the bottle – fruit taken from seven different villages, all combining to make something greater than the sum of its parts. You’ve got lemon, you’ve got brioche, you’ve got oyster shell. Bad combo for a sandwich, but great for a wine. Got someone you’re trying to impress? You know, someone who you always check to see if they’ve watched your Instagram stories? Go straight to the top and throw them a Pierre Peters. Not literally, unless they’ve got steady hands. I’m not telling you to ply the object of your affection with alcohol, but I’m also not… not saying that. I trust you. You know what to do.

Gotta go, things to do, people to see. Fizz to buy. Bye!